I miss you.

If you could be me just for one day
Maybe you'd still be alive
Maybe you'd see the beauty I saw
If only I gave you my eyes

If you could be me just for one day
Maybe you'd still be here
Maybe you'd laugh at all of your jokes
If only I loaned you my ears

If you could be me just for one day
Maybe I'd still have you and
Maybe you'd know the comfort of your
Touch and your kiss and your hand

Maybe it's selfish for me to wish that
You could be me for one day
But I miss you so much that I don't know how
Much longer I can go on this way

aided sleep.

Perception shifts
Lights flash in all shades and tones
Darkness engulfs my surroundings
A heaviness sets in
Lights blur
Guilt sets in
Stirs in my chest
I fall asleep.

On The Bell Jar by Plath, Chapter XIII

I visited my father
At his salmon colored stone
A bitter dead Atheist
No Heaven to call home

Now I'm in the cellar
I've counted fifty pills
It's time to fall asleep
Forever at my will

Parent-Child Relationships.

Sit up straight
Shoulders back
Yes sir, yes ma'm
Arch your aching back
Hide your scars
Dress your wounds
Yes sir, yes ma'm
Hum a soothing tune

Call your father
Call your mother
Tell them lies and tales
No sir, no ma'm
I do not lie nor fable

Visit once or twice so often
Fabricate a smile
Laugh a little, laugh a lot
Endure another trial

Yes sir
Yes ma'm
I am doing well.
Yes sir
Yes ma'm
I hope you are as well.

bipolar disorder type I

wow, you look great
it's so nice to see you smiling again



thanks
I'm having a manic episode

I have so much energy
and I'm so in love with everything
and everything is so incredibly wonderful


fuck you! fuck this!


oh, please excuse me
I have inappropriate outbursts of anger
and I get quite irritated easily