Suicidal Ideations

It stinks around here
There’s a nasty odor in the air
Mold spores in the air turn blue as they’re breathed in
The timeless affect of a dirty generation
There’s a funny feeling
The children play with lead paint peelings
Poisonous metal penetrates their minds
Mine is the same, but doctor prescribed
Lithium runs through my veins
Soothing my nerves, and calming my brain
My eyes still wild, my hair a mess
Loose words, loose tongue, and a bloody wrist
A new queen awaits her coronation
While I patiently await my own consummation
My lover though sits undecided
His passion for me has surely subsided
I sit atop a high set ledge
Talking again to a burning hedge
Some call me crazy, some want me dead
Should I jump? Am I losing my head?

The pills never helped

Her last year of childhood

Was stolen by the mental hospital

She took too many pills

Slit her wrists in suicidal rage

Her days became routined

And constantly guarded

Bored, she flirted with impulses

And she always kept her heart hidden

In fear of crumbling again

She clung to all she knew

The voice in her head consoled her

One last kiss for his love too soon

But she became an adult

He became bitter and angered

Not loving her anymore

She grew catatonic and blank stared

"Kill yourself, you fool

You have no reason to live

No one loves you or could

Give you love like I did then"

So she took a few more pills

And fell asleep again

Woke up in a hospital

Like a pin cushion clad

It never ends

It never ends

It never ends

She screamed

The nurses rushed in

A few more drugs in her IV

Seasonal Affective Disorder

As the days shorten
I find it more and more difficult to photosynthesize
The energy drains out of me
At first it's kind of beautiful
The change in color
But I know what's really happening
I'm slowly dying
I slowly dull and shrivel up
And it doesn't take much
But a small shake from the cold front breeze
To push me over the edge
And I jump
Falling to my death

Fearless

I thought I saw you last night
In the corner of my room
I thought I heard you whisper
"My princess, I love you"
And I was not afraid
For the first time in years
Your voice was a comfort
That drove away my fears
I can’t tell you what was different
Maybe I’m stronger now
Maybe time has healed me
But I’m better now somehow

Hi, I'm Hope, and I'm a caffeinaholic.

Caffeine, let go
I need to sleep
Burn out like gasoline
My demons must breathe

Just sleep

I know you know not anything but just despondency
But a flat affect psychology is no excuse to not be brave
And I tell you almost honestly, 
Nothing good can come from descending to the grave
I know you face insolvency from a poor economy
And you probably blame your sadness on a hapless biology
And this is correct most possibly
But you'll find more peace in delta waves
Than you ever will in death

Make it a point to do something, no matter how pointless that something may be.

I never told you why

I never told you the real reason why I begged you to quit smoking
I told you I can’t stand the smell of cigarettes
I told you I fear of you dying of lung cancer
I told you yellow teeth are unattractive
I told you you’re wasting your hard earned money
But I never told you the real reason

I never told you the reason I got you an ashtray
Even after I begged you to quit
I told you I didn’t like the mess

I never told you why
I never told you that all I wanted
Was for you to love yourself as much as I love you
For you to care about your body because
I think it’s the damn sexiest body on the planet

I never told you how much it hurts me
When you use your skin as an ashtray
I just told you that you needed to quit smoking
And bought you an ashtray which you still never use