and wish and wish that someone would keep me company. But then when people do, I just get annoyed. Not an "I don't like you, go away" annoyed, but rather a "I'm too exhausted and talking to you is just too draining" annoyed. And then I'll find some excuse to end the conversation, or not hang out, or go home, or whatever, and I'll go right back to being lonely again.
I hate this fighting against myself stuff.
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